For a couple of days now I've have had a blog post swirling around in my head. I've had a few challenging homeschooling days and the blog post in my mind was about that. Probably the only reason I hesitated to write it was because I am blessed to home school our children, and didn't want to sound like I was complaining. The truth is though, it IS challenging. Some people think that because you are home most of the day that your home would be in perfect order, the fridge stocked, the house clean, the laundry done. The reality is that you are spending HOURS a day teaching two different grades, to the sweetest, but most critical students. Your (or MY, at least) children will say and do things with you as their teacher that they wouldn't do if they were in a normal classroom. This week alone, my usually super sweet 7 year old put her hands on her ears and made a face like her head was going to explode. She told me she can't stand my voice when I say a word with an s,c, or k sound. Seriously? Can we just get through this math page without doubling or TRIPLING the time with wasted chatter about the toy you want to find at break time? It can be challenging.
Most days are very rewarding, but the hard days exist. The reward in every day is that I can hold my baby on my lap and work with a clipboard if she wants to be near me, I can hug them all I want, I can be the one to wipe away the tears when a math concept is SO frustrating. I am thankful for the hard choice we've made. It's certainly not an easy road, and who knows how long we'll be able to do it. I'd love to do it long term (this is our third year), but I can't see the future, I have no crystal ball. We'll do it until it doesn't work for our family.
Out of these last few hectic days, a greater story has emerged.
This afternoon, Emma called me into her room, pointed out her window and told me that our neighbors had been working in their yard since she woke up this morning. They were cutting down trees and I hadn't even noticed. She asked me if I thought she should take them a drink since they had worked so hard. Umm, melt my heart why don't ya, kid?
My husband's uncle passed away this week. Tonight was the wake, and when I tucked the girls in bed and prayed with them, Emma said, "Please help Papa to not be so sad that his brother died", and Cami said, "and please help the people we hugged tonight that were crying to not feel bad anymore."
These two things have made me realize that the work I'm doing with them matters. I'm not speaking of academics now, but of love, and loving people matters a lot in this crazy world. There is a song out right now that I am crazy about. It's called "Proof of Your Love" by Love and Country.
"The Proof Of Your Love"
If I sing but don't have love
I waste my breath with every song
I bring an empty voice, a hollow noise
If I speak with a silver tongue
Convince a crowd but don't have love
I leave a bitter taste with every word I say
So let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love
Let my love look like You and what You're made of
How You lived, how You died
Love is sacrifice
So let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love
If I give
To a needy soul but don't have love then who is poor?
It seems all the poverty is found in me
So let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love
Let my love look like You and what You're made of
How You lived, how You died
Love is sacrifice
Oh, let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love
When it's all said and done
When we sing our final song
Only love remains
Only love remains
Let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love
Let my love look like You and what You're made of
How You lived, how You died
Love is sacrifice
So let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love
